My Second Sister

Recently, I had the devastating experience of waking up to a text from my best friend Lauren telling me that her sweet puppy was on the lose. I immediately stopped to say a prayer for little Gambit's safety as they searched. Sadly, only minutes later I received the next text that he was gone, taken much too soon by a tragic accident. This news took my breath clear away. I am sad to say that Lauren and I now have one more thing in common: we have lost beloved puppies far before their time.

When I was six years old my family headed to a farm outside of West Chester, Pennsylvania to pick out our new puppy. She had to stay at the farm a few more months until she was old enough to come home with us, but we found her that first day. I was a wee little one myself and I sat in the visiting pen amidst ten or twelve happy, frolicking golden retriever pups--I was in heaven. The pups would come visit me, give a little lick on the face and a waggle of the tail, and then move on. But one puppy came up to me, cuddled up on my lap and never left. She was the one for me.

We all fell in love with her at once and it was no difficult decision that she would be the one to come home in August.

Although she was (inappropriately) called "Bear" on the farm, we christened her Duchess. The girls in my clan voted for Daisy but my Dad said he felt too girly calling "Daisy" out in public. To be honest, I didn't know the royal meaning of the word "Duchess" at the time (at six I just thought it sounded nice), though now it strikes me as ironic that he found this less girly.

I know some people who consider their pets just that: pets. Duchess was not my pet dog. She was my sister, my kindred spirit, my comforter, my protector, my best friend. She was a part of the family and a very important part at that. There was no dog-skeptic who didn't succumb to her charms & adoration (exhibit a: my Grandma), no neighbor who didn't hurry to greet her in the yard or on our walks, and no friend of mine who liked me more than her (sad, but true).



The day before my High School graduation I felt a lump inside Duchess's mouth. There was an instant ache in my chest and a pit in my stomach. It was just a little lump, it could've been anything, but I knew.

I wanted my Mom to skip my graduation ceremony to take her to the vet, but that would have to wait. There was graduation and then the grad parties and of course family was in town. Still, it couldn't have been more than a week or so before we got her to the vet. I remember standing on my back porch when I found the lump, and standing on that same porch when my parents told me it was malignant. We operated right away but the lumps kept coming back in different places. I spent most of the summer sobbing. I physically hurt as we took her to and from vet appointments and surgeries, when we brought her home loopy and scared from pain killers with huge bandages winding around her abdomen and back covering stitches.

Towards the end the surgeries stopped and the vigils began. We took turns sleeping with Duchess because she could no longer climb the stairs to be with us. My mom tenderly cooked her meals she could stomach (for a while at least), my Dad carried her where she needed to go, and I...well, I sang to her.

I know how blessed I have been in my life. I was blessed to have almost twelve years with my sweet puppy before cancer took her. And I was blessed to have the friends and family I did during that painful time. The last week was spent camped out in the basement where she permanently resided. My friends came in a steady flow bearing food, movies for distraction, and as many laughs as they could manage to provide. They were there up until the last and with me immediately afterwards.

I miss her still.

She was one of a kind. I still love dogs but no one, human or otherwise, could replace her.

It doesn't matter the time you've spent with a beloved pet for you to feel their loss acutely. They inhabit a place in your heart that is their's alone and the warmth and love they provided is forever missed. I was devastated for Lauren's loss and I was devestated that I could not be with her. Gambit was taken from her and Ted far too soon and by absolutely no fault of their own. I know it will be a long time before their sadness lessens, but I hope they can rest assured that Gambit and Duchess are having a mighty good time playing and are happily waiting to reunite with us someday.

Although Lauren was dealt a heartbreak she never expected, she continues to amaze me with her capacity for love and compassion for the world around her. Even in the midst of her own tragedy, she thought of me and our shared knowledge of what it's like to lose a furry family member. Today, this arrived in the mail for me...




Lauren, I love you so dearly. I am so sorry for your and Ted's loss, but I know Gambit wouldn't trade a moment of his time in your loving home.

Duchess, take good care of Gambit up there.