Across November; Across the Universe

At around 1 p.m. today I crossed the NaNoWriMo finish line on my novel, Across the Universe—50,000 words! iTunes shuffle blasted “Go the Distance” right as I hit my winning word count. A lovely coincidence, no?

I want to ramble a bit about my NaNoWriMo experience. It’s going to be long. Read if you feel so inclined.

I was a Creative Writing major in school and I loved it. But after four years, I’d kind of lost my passion for writing. It had become a chore because I had to produce work on a deadline and for an entire class to read and critique. I think workshops are invaluable and I really appreciated learning how to share my work with a critical audience and receive and utilize their constructive criticism in my revisions. But it did become impossible for me to write without considering my audience. I knew that I was restricting my own voice either because I was afraid to share what I really wanted to write with a class or because I needed everything to be as polished and presentable as possible.

When I decided to take on NaNoWriMo I barely had a story idea in mind. Nothing came to me until the last days before I had to start writing. And then, the idea I had was quite basic and unexciting. I think when it comes to NaNoWriMo there are a couple of different mindsets. The idea is to write a novel and one of the goals at its inception was for NaNo to help people who had always wanted to write their novel to actually do it. So you write write write for a month and then, once you get the words out, you can take time editing and rewriting and getting it to a publishable state. Well, I entered NaNo with a very different state of mind. I just wanted to write. I wanted something to fill my time, I wanted a goal and hopefully a chance to feel successful during the dark period I was going through when I entered November.

So, when I started writing, I was blessed with a feeling of freedom I hadn’t felt in years. And that’s how the words started pouring out. The truth is, from the start I never planned to share my novel with anyone. I wasn’t writing something I wanted to someday publish. This was for me and me alone. And it was completely liberating. I would be willing to bet that 3/4ths of my novel is pure crap. I wrote sentences so dull and cliché that it almost hurt. My characters need so much more development, major scenes are missing, facts got mixed up and contradicted, and there were times when I was generally writing myself into corners or tangents. It was wonderful! I didn’t have to worry about the writing being perfect or if other people would like my story and characters because nobody would ever read it.

Writing like this has been so wonderful for me. It’s been a complete treat for myself. I divulged every little whim and basically let myself live vicariously through my characters. Through writing, I could do so many things and go so many places. One of my main characters became a professional dancer—I’ve never been able to dance at all. Heck, I can’t even touch my toes, much less dance ballet. But Lucy can. I got to go back to Salzburg and visit the charming Kristkindlmarkt, taste delicious pastries and wurst again, stroll through the Aldstadt and ice-skate in Mozartplatz all because William grew up there. I could make anything happen. Some of it is over the top, all of it is un-publishable. Thank goodness that was never my intent.

I have had the best and most freeing time writing my novel this November. I entered my winning word count today at 52,086 words. The story itself is actually far from over and I can’t wait to keep writing it. I can’t leave my characters hanging just because my word count is up.

I am so appreciative of the support and interest so many of you have shown for my writing process and story. Many of you have asked to read it. Unfortunately, the truth is that the writing is horrible and the characters flat and I won’t be sharing the novel anywhere publicly. I’m sorry, but I’d be embarrassed for anyone to actually read it. It’s also very personal at times because I let myself work out thoughts and theories and questions I have about life through my writing. This was just something I had to do for me.

I started this month feeling unhappy, lonely and lost in Spain. I wanted to feel like I was doing something with my time and I also hoped that writing 50000 words would help the time fly by.

November flew by. It wasn’t just the writing, things began to change overall. Life got busy. I started teaching more private lessons, I went on a couple of small trips, I had a friend visit, I read an amazing book, there were coffee and tapas dates with friends, errands to run, longer conversations with my roommate, Thanksgiving, and more. I should have known that by declaring that life sucked and I had so much free time that things would change. But I am so glad they did. This month has been just what I needed in so many ways. The rough days aren’t gone. I know they will cycle back and pop up now and then. I am just happy that things have definitely improved and that my life is fuller with both things to do and people. I know December will fly by too—I’ll be in Madrid for Christmas and Scotland for New Years!

I am so excited to have succeeded at NaNoWriMo this year. It was just what I needed. Thank you for listening to me talk on and on about it and for taking an interest in my endeavor. I am sorry I can’t gratify you with the novel itself, but I really truly thank you for caring when I rambled on about Will and Lucy.

Now, let’s see what December’s got in store!