Honesty; I've heard it's the best policy

I have a confession to make…

I have been ashamed of this blog.

I have been ashamed because I am horrible with fancy internet layouts and cannot figure out how to make a header or prettify this blog.

I have been ashamed because I can’t think of interesting things to say or post.

I have been ashamed because I love making friends and yet as I watch people I know network and form friendships, I seem to be sitting around watching the dust settle on my keyboard, unable to figure out how to be me.

The root of the problem is that I have been ashamed to be me and that’s not ok. I often feel like I have to separate parts of my life to be accepted. If my Twilight-hating friends knew I enjoy dorking out at midnight showings and inhaling the books like I do a can of Dr. Pepper, I worry they would judge me and drop me. If I blog with just my fellow blogger friends in mind, I fear what my family will think of this silly little place with no profound thoughts—I’m supposed to be “the writer” in the family, but I just want to have fun. I’ve been censoring myself way too often, worrying that so-and-so will happen to read this or that and judge me for it. What it whittles down to is that I’ve been too afraid to mix my life all together and just be completely me and let people do with that what they will.

Well, enough is enough.

This is my vow to try to start being myself, critics be damned. We (me-the blogger, and you-the potential blogging friend) may not see eye to eye on everything; I may love purple when you hate it; but isn’t it so much nicer when everyone is themselves?

Here are some affirmations of who I am and what’s real in my life:

I like Twilight. I don’t know why. What’s more, I’m done trying to make excuses or explain it. Take it or leave it.

As much as I like Twilight, I like to make fun of Twilight. That’s just the way I am about things I truly love—snarky and sarcastic. A sense of humor is a good thing, people.

These icons are hilarious quotes from Cleolinda’s brilliant recaps of the Twilight books. She translates scenarios to get at what they’re really saying.

I’m a senior in college and I’ve had a miserable go of it. I refuse to believe that these 4 years were “the best time of my life” because I have more faith in my future than that. My best years will be whenever I decide they are. I’ve already had some of the best “times of my life” and I trust that many more are to come.

I love to cook and bake and while I think I make edible dishes, I’m no great talent. I follow a recipe and it brings me great joy, but I’m not whipping around the kitchen creating my own masterpiece recipes. I do love my apron to pieces though.

I am not fashionable and I don’t like shopping. I do like clothes and I do admire fashion on others. I would like to be fashionable, but a.) I’m no good at styling and b.) the process of shopping with my funds depresses me and so I’ve never enjoyed it. Sometimes, I firmly believe that if someone handed me a million dollars I could be so chic; I would buy the entire contents of the Anthropologie catalogue and die happy. But, in reality, I think I’m just wired wrong or something.

I'd rather be in Salzburg.

{Summer is my favorite}

I like good & bad T.V. I can’t say which show fits which category because everybody has a different opinion. Some of my all-time favorites include: Gilmore Girls (ok, this one is just straight up GOOD T.V.—I dare you to deny it), The Office, The O.C., Arrested Development, Pushing Daisies, and more that I’m forgetting. Current favorites include: How I Met Your Mother, The Vampire Diaries, and Glee.

I love my imagination and I love reading. I find the worlds my mind creates as I read precious and I work really hard to preserve the way I originally imagined things if I see a movie of a book. My Hogwarts is still very much intact and very much WAY COOLER than the movies. My Harry is also way hotter. [And he's meant to be with Hermione. Just sayin’]

Because of my love for books, characters and imagination I have always had serious book crushes. Over on the coolest new blog on the block, Bangin’ Hot Boys Book Club, we’re discussing first (fictional) loves. I think mine may have been Calvin O’Keefe. Name that book! I have had many fictional boyfriends and they’re only getting better

I love making friends. This is 100% truth. So if nothing I’ve said here has put you off too much, let’s be friends.

Definitely Not a Zombie Movie

So, I've gone weeks without posting and now two in one day. I guess that's what "New Moon" will do for you. I did a post just like this somewhere after "Twilight" but I don't think anyone saw it and I decided it deserves repeating. Onward.

As I mentioned in the last post, I'm not going to review "New Moon." But I couldn't resist applauding Anna Kendrick (Jessica Stanley) because she is brilliant. Tell me you weren't forming some serious laugh lines during her "leprosy" monologue. I dare you to deny it. Don't be so pleased with your own self-reverential cleverness.

Anyway, although I think she was a hit in "Twilight" for most people as well, I have to admit that I've always had a bias from the moment she was cast. You see, when I was 15 I caught the last half of this bizarre movie about theatre kids while on a plane ride to Spain. I watched, miles above the Atlantic, as Anna Kendrick's character "Fritzi" went from being a timid wannabe to a psycho diva. It was hilarious and goodness but could she sing.

If you're interested at all in early Anna Kendrick kicking butt poisoning the competition and taking namesstealing the lead, watch the short video below from the movie "Camp." She enters in at about :21.

Warning: A little language!



Oh snap. Work it, Anna Kendrick!

Now this is going too far...

Oh, hey MTV. I see you've given us proof, yet again, of your high standards. MTV means nothing if it doesn't mean quality.

Please click the link below the picture at your own risk. I guarantee you will be disturbed. Only benefit? You'll probably be so disturbed you'll need to immediately run out to the nearest theatre and watch "New Moon" again to cleanse your mind. As if you needed an excuse.

{Yeah, I'm not doing a review because everyone and their cousin's labradoodle's done one, but suffice it to say I loved the movie. Times 1,000. And I was smug when they played "Possibility" during the months montage because I called that the minute I heard the soundtrack. It fits so painfully well.}

Preview? Ok:

http://www.mtv.com/photos/new-moon-is-everywhere-its-a-total-twilight-takeover/1626860/4420429/photo.jhtml

{Too lazy to do a fancy word-click link. Sorry.}

October Showers Lead to November Flowers

Today,

everywhere I went I kept smelling Gardenias in the air.

The fragrance kept hitting me in places I go daily and where Gardenia's don't exist.

With my windows open to let in the elusive (for Memphis) sunlight I inhaled deeply and my senses were overcome with the floral scent.

I caught a whiff as I drove down the street by my school.

It was there in my little basement office at work.

As I climbed uphill to my apartment I smelled it again.

Gardenia is my absolute favorite scent.

Today,

it brought me peace.