My Second Sister

Recently, I had the devastating experience of waking up to a text from my best friend Lauren telling me that her sweet puppy was on the lose. I immediately stopped to say a prayer for little Gambit's safety as they searched. Sadly, only minutes later I received the next text that he was gone, taken much too soon by a tragic accident. This news took my breath clear away. I am sad to say that Lauren and I now have one more thing in common: we have lost beloved puppies far before their time.

When I was six years old my family headed to a farm outside of West Chester, Pennsylvania to pick out our new puppy. She had to stay at the farm a few more months until she was old enough to come home with us, but we found her that first day. I was a wee little one myself and I sat in the visiting pen amidst ten or twelve happy, frolicking golden retriever pups--I was in heaven. The pups would come visit me, give a little lick on the face and a waggle of the tail, and then move on. But one puppy came up to me, cuddled up on my lap and never left. She was the one for me.

We all fell in love with her at once and it was no difficult decision that she would be the one to come home in August.

Although she was (inappropriately) called "Bear" on the farm, we christened her Duchess. The girls in my clan voted for Daisy but my Dad said he felt too girly calling "Daisy" out in public. To be honest, I didn't know the royal meaning of the word "Duchess" at the time (at six I just thought it sounded nice), though now it strikes me as ironic that he found this less girly.

I know some people who consider their pets just that: pets. Duchess was not my pet dog. She was my sister, my kindred spirit, my comforter, my protector, my best friend. She was a part of the family and a very important part at that. There was no dog-skeptic who didn't succumb to her charms & adoration (exhibit a: my Grandma), no neighbor who didn't hurry to greet her in the yard or on our walks, and no friend of mine who liked me more than her (sad, but true).



The day before my High School graduation I felt a lump inside Duchess's mouth. There was an instant ache in my chest and a pit in my stomach. It was just a little lump, it could've been anything, but I knew.

I wanted my Mom to skip my graduation ceremony to take her to the vet, but that would have to wait. There was graduation and then the grad parties and of course family was in town. Still, it couldn't have been more than a week or so before we got her to the vet. I remember standing on my back porch when I found the lump, and standing on that same porch when my parents told me it was malignant. We operated right away but the lumps kept coming back in different places. I spent most of the summer sobbing. I physically hurt as we took her to and from vet appointments and surgeries, when we brought her home loopy and scared from pain killers with huge bandages winding around her abdomen and back covering stitches.

Towards the end the surgeries stopped and the vigils began. We took turns sleeping with Duchess because she could no longer climb the stairs to be with us. My mom tenderly cooked her meals she could stomach (for a while at least), my Dad carried her where she needed to go, and I...well, I sang to her.

I know how blessed I have been in my life. I was blessed to have almost twelve years with my sweet puppy before cancer took her. And I was blessed to have the friends and family I did during that painful time. The last week was spent camped out in the basement where she permanently resided. My friends came in a steady flow bearing food, movies for distraction, and as many laughs as they could manage to provide. They were there up until the last and with me immediately afterwards.

I miss her still.

She was one of a kind. I still love dogs but no one, human or otherwise, could replace her.

It doesn't matter the time you've spent with a beloved pet for you to feel their loss acutely. They inhabit a place in your heart that is their's alone and the warmth and love they provided is forever missed. I was devastated for Lauren's loss and I was devestated that I could not be with her. Gambit was taken from her and Ted far too soon and by absolutely no fault of their own. I know it will be a long time before their sadness lessens, but I hope they can rest assured that Gambit and Duchess are having a mighty good time playing and are happily waiting to reunite with us someday.

Although Lauren was dealt a heartbreak she never expected, she continues to amaze me with her capacity for love and compassion for the world around her. Even in the midst of her own tragedy, she thought of me and our shared knowledge of what it's like to lose a furry family member. Today, this arrived in the mail for me...




Lauren, I love you so dearly. I am so sorry for your and Ted's loss, but I know Gambit wouldn't trade a moment of his time in your loving home.

Duchess, take good care of Gambit up there.

Life is good.

This past week has had its ups & downs as I began resuming responsabilities after my week off post-Spain. Jobs are hard to find, GRE stuff is scaring the stuffing out of me and Grad school apps are giving me PTSD-esque flashbacks to the hellish experience of college apps. (Do I really want to do this all again? Yes, Kate, you do.) (Do I?) (Yes. Maybe.)

But life has been mostly sunshine when you look at it:

*I had a great and much-needed catch up session with my best friend Elise over delivery Chinese food and a movie. We talked through the movie and drank a succession of Shirley Temples until I went into a happy sugar coma.

*My nephew continued to be cute--in fact he GREW in cuteness. True fact. Need proof?



*We celebrated Father's Day early with a delicious breakfast at The Egg and I and followed it up with a viewing of "The Invention of Lying" (Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Tina Fey, Rob Lowe, etc.)--my parents picked it up for $5 at Target and it was actually super cute.

*My sister and I continued to be awesome. I'd tell you more about it, but you'd probably look at me like I was crazy and I'd just say "you had to be there." (Right, Jen?) ("Why are you talking to the baby about venereal diseases?")

*I fixed up my room and hung some new pictures.

{The sketch in the bottom-middle is of the library on the Rhodes campus. At graduation each Senior was allowed to pick a sketch of a building on campus and naturally I picked the library--heck I lived there! Anyway, you can tell I am a dork and love libaries since I actually framed and hung the thing.}

Here's my reading corner where I spend a lot of time, natch. The print I hung above the chair is one I bought in Palma de Mallorca. I was in love with the artist's work and we chatted it up and became friends. I ended up buying a piece of her art for my nephew/sister, my friend and one for me.

I wish I could get the details more clearly, but it's an ant being carried away on a lasso of words right up to the moon. Perfect for me and perfect for my reading corner.

I also re-did the space above my desk so I could hang the gorgeous picture Chris got me from Japan on his last deployment (top left). Isn't it lovely? I also cleaned off the clutter and updated a few photos.

*I finally got to bake again! I love Emma the Joy's blog in general, but I especially love her recipe index. I've basically been bookmarking recipes from her blog all year while I was living sans oven and now I finally get to try them all out. I started with Homemade Oreos ...yum!

*I've also finally gotten to cook with an oven again. Tonight I made my favorite comfort food: Baked Mac 'n' Cheese. It was perfect for this rainy cold Colorado day. No pictures of that 'cause we just ate it right up.

*And last but most definitely X 1000 not least: I got to chat with bestie Tina for a good hour the other day...and then today she texted me to say she got us tickets to see The Colbert Report when I'm in NYC! Thank you so much Tina, you are the best. She knows I LOVE Colbert.

So, I guess the moral of the story (oops, was I not telling a story?) is that while I am feeling stressed and a bit worried at my state of life lately, I am also very happy and trying to focus on that.

What have you been up to? Please share.

Since I've been home I've...

+Kissed baby hands, toes, arms, legs, belly, chub, etc. repeatedly.
+Watched "Easy A" on Netflix
+Celebrated the wedding of a high school friend
+Gotten up before 8 every day on my own free will--I NEVER do that! (Unless I have to.)
+Reunited with my beloved Colorado Mountains...oh the fresh air!
+Seen "Bridesmaids"
+Loved on my sister's puppies (my furry niece and nephew as it were.)
+Started applying for jobs
+Set happy and serious goals
+TARGET. x 4.
+Ate at Snooze--yum!
+Qdoba...por fin!
-Not tone up the way I need to before heading beach-wards
+Been very silly and awesome with my sister. We're the coolest.
+Been excited that the coolest couple got engaged!
+Caught up with good friends
-Lost the reading streak I was on
+Watched The Tonys and got mega-excited to see "Anything Goes" and "How to Succeed in Business" with my bestie as they both feature Tony-winning casts.
-Not blogged
+Not blogged because I happily can't be bothered to tear myself away from this:

+Taken photos for my sister--I'm not sure whether to focus on how gorgeous she is or how adorable her baby is!

It feels so amazing to be home, especially now that I've unpacked (check), began to do productive & necessary things (check check), and am still finding time for fun (check!).

But don't expect a lot of blogging (for now). There's too much living to do!

Addicted

Precious. Silly. Adorable. Handsome. Yummy. Sweet. Swoon-worthy. Chubby. Guapo. Itty-bitty. Smiley. Nephew.

All words that describe my little sweetheart.

I've been home for 2 days now and I've yet to do anything productive like unpack, grocery shop, exchange money, job-hunt, etc. I just can't be pulled away from my little man!

You know where to find me.

P.S.: I'm not going to be using G's real name on the blog, so I'm trying to come up with a cute permanent nickname. I'll get back to you.

Hasta Luego/Keep it Positive

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go.

Today, I fly home. If you see an airplane in the...well, not night...sky maybe say a wish that my travels go smoothly. (I really stretched on that song reference, didn't I?)

Spain, it's been real. I'm going to miss your churros and salmorejo and Euros and language and most of all some of your people. 'Til we meet again, yeah?

{This is a sketch I did of the view out my piso window. I am not an artist, but I really enjoyed doing this in a therapeutic can-do kind of way and I am keeping it as a momento. There are more colors but they light blue sky and some of the greens didn't really turn out in the photo.}

United States, here I come! Family, please don't get so lost in my nephew's sweet eyes that you forget to pick me up at the airport. ;)

Besos!

Edit: Well, I'm sitting at the airport. Unfortunately there's been a delay that might result in me missing my connection State-side. I've been pretty down, but I'm trying to pull it together. There's this little boy in the same general vicinity as me and he looks like he's having the time of his life. A minute ago I looked over and he just threw himself on the ground, flat on his back, in front of the moving sidewalk and started giggling like a fool. (Don't worry, there was no one coming so I doubt it was an ill-planned suicide attempt.) He bounced up moments later and skipped down the next moving sidewalk. He isn't worried about delays or missed flights; he's just happy. I don't know that I can get away with lying in front of a moving sidewalk, but I am going to try to keep it positive. I've got plenty of books and music to keep me entertained. I'll get home eventually. All will be well.

For Peaches Honeyblossom

Meet my bestie Tina from my Rhodes College days…

Tina is made of things like awesomeness, yellow cake and Broadway knowledge. She rocks the color red, works harder than anyone I know, and is the kind of girl who is always there for those she loves. She idolizes Tina Fey (she IS mini-Tina Fey!), does a killer Britney Spears impression, and someday we will start a band together called Cardigan Curtain Rod or Armchair Hardrive (hehehe can't wait to play our hipster band names game again with you, Tina!)

{Tina's Surprise 20th Birthday Party}

I met Cristina on my very first day of college. Isn’t that cool? (Actually, if you want to get technical we “met” on the Rhodes Facebook group ahead of time…) We sat next to each other in our Search class and bonded over our love of planners. I need to work on my first impression skills, though, because when she sat down she said “Aren’t you Kate Lastname?” (facebook, remember?) and I said “Actually, it’s correct pronunciation of Lastname.” Ha! Oops.

{Tina and I as Freshmen.}

For some silly reason Tina and I didn’t hang out until second semester. She was under the false impression that being in a sorority meant I was popular and/or had lots of friends, and I just thought she seemed too cool for school. Luckily we got our act together and became instant besties after our first hang out sesh.
One of the first things we talked about as new best friends was how cool it would be that because we were two of five students in our class with last name's beginning with "I" and our names are consecutive, we would get to graduate right next to each other. Four years later, that happened and it was definitely bittersweet.

{Graduation Day; May 15, 2010.}

Cristina turned 19 right after we left for summer break after our freshman year. Naturally, I made this little poster and made it my facebook profile pic for the day.

{I’m not going to explain it. You can just draw your own conclusions as to what Tina and I were like as freshmen.}

Well, now this dear best friend of mine is turning 23!!! I wish I could be there to fiesta with her today but luckily I do get to go visit her in just 26 days. Did I mention she’s so cool that she lives in New York City now?

Happy Birthday Tina! I miss you mucho mucho and I cannot wait to reunite and brunch and Broadway it up in NYC. I hope you have a beautiful day filled with your favorite things. Love you!

xo,
Kate