Love/Hate

From the time I was very young my parents tried to instill in me important values; discernment between right and wrong, compassion for others, charity, honesty, and so on. I like to think most of the wisdom they tried to impart to me took root and flourished, but there is one lesson they taught me that I can say with certainty has become an important part of my world view.

This particular message my parents wanted me to understand was about the word “hate”. They wanted me to appreciate the strength of the word hate and make sure I could distinguish between such a venomous expression and mere dislike. Hate is truly a powerful word. Hate spurns racism, abuse, anger, suicide, murder, and so many more of humanity’s crimes. I don’t believe that hating makes you feel good in any way and I know being hated doesn’t. I feel very passionately that it is not a word to be used lightly when it comes to people.

We, as humanity, use the word hate a lot. I know, even with this lesson constantly in mind, that I use it on a daily basis. I “hate” math. I “hate” fish. I “hate” traffic. I don’t really find it to be as much of an issue when the word hate is applied to objects. That’s just giving in to hyperbole. However, while the power of this word may be diminished in use with inanimate things, it is still strong and devastating when used against fellow humans.

Ever since my parents explained to me that hate was a very serious word and helped me understand the kind of violent passion associated with it, I have been hyperaware of its use. I realized how correct they were. Maybe I didn’t like Brittany Brown from my fourth grade class, but did I really hate her? Do I really hate anyone? If you really step back and think about it I think you’ll be hard pressed to find that you do. Is there really anyone who you can’t find any potential for good in? Is there anyone who upsets you so much it is worth the pain and marring of your own soul to hate?

It is so easy for us to hate and it slips off of our tongues without a second thought. I am a perfect example: I’ll read a magazine or watch gossip t.v. and comment on how I “hate” Miley Cyrus or some reality show star or some obnoxious lady on a commercial. Saying it may not be damaging, but it breeds negativity in me and in those who hear me and that never feels good. And what’s more, casual statements like these desensitize us to the word so that we don’t notice when we slide easily from hating people we don’t know to hating on people we do.

What is amazing is this propensity to “hate” every slightly annoying person we encounter while we so often struggle to love. Most of us have no trouble hating a stranger, but loving one would provide a challenge for most of the normal, non-Mother Theresa set (myself included). But what a worthwhile challenge it is.

I think we all have a great capacity for love and many of the people I am lucky enough to know are filled with love for others. Yet, I still think most of us would rather open our mouths to tell a friend a story about something we’re hating on rather than start a conversation about people we love. In some cases, it’s because we place love on a pedestal, we hold it to a higher standard, we don’t want to get careless throwing it around. Bullocks to that, I say. Be loose with your “I love you”s. If there was ever a word to overuse, I nominate “love”. It just feels better to talk about things you love because you are intrinsically talking about things that bring you joy, things that make you feel warm & fuzzy inside instead of bitter and brooding.

Just my thoughts.

<3

There is no specific reason I’m posting this now. It was just something I was thinking about while I couldn’t sleep last night. Why must my brain try to get all deep and philosophical at 3 a.m., I ask you? Oh well, I love when my brain sets my fingers itching to type.