I do, however, love Harry Potter. In a totally over-the-top full-on nerd way. And as my friend Haley knows all too well from giving me the Harry Potter tour of Edinburgh, “I own it.” (As in: own up to it. On our tour of Edinburgh, the guide asked who liked Harry and I yelled “ME!” followed by “I own it!”. Haley just thought I was weirdly telling everyone I owned the books...when really I was trying to clarify the fact that I didn’t mind shrieking “me” and incidentally getting the whole group to stare at me because I am proud of my obsession. PROUD.) (Ok, maybe I need therapy.)
Anyway, given my love, sometimes a friend posts a Facebook status about basketball and then this happens:
Katie: Well, my bracket is virtually dead now. I only have 5 of the elite 8. However, it feels so, so, so good to be wrong. Thank you, Wildcats.
Kate (Me): Really? My Quidditch bracket is doing great! Holyhead Harpies all the way.
Katie: I love you so much.
Person I Don’t Actually Know (PIDAK): Chudley Cannons all the way!!!!
Me: Psh, the Cannons don't stand a chance.
PIDAK:Okay, first of all, the Harpies? They have no defense, your seeker is a rookie, and your chasers have no speed!
Katie: This conversation is ridiculous and dumb. The Montrose Magpies is where it's at. They are the most winning team in history and they will do it again.
Me: Katie, check your stats. I don't like it anymore than you do but the truth is Puddlemere United blows both our teams stats out of the water…
Me: PIDAK-- We'll just see who gets to the World Cup, won't we?
Katie: Maybe this year, but we've won the league 10 more times than the freaking bulrushes. And Oliver Wood is going to be past his prime any day, he'll have to retire soon and we'll be restored to our former glory. But the Harpies are probably my second favorite team, so good luck to you, too. And as for your Chudley Canons, PIDAK...Your Keeper doesn't know the difference between a bludger and a quaffle. When was the last time they've won a championship? Oh right, 1892.
PIDAK: You know what Katie, this is sooo you. Do you also like the Lakers and the Yankees? Because the only thing the Magpies do, is BUY, BUY, BUY their players. You're sooo lucky that Kingsley Shacklebolt is your team owner and he pours money into Puddlemere like nothing.
PIDAK: Kate: If Holyfield wins their next game, then you play Chudley!
Me: Holyfield? At least get the name right! WHEN HolyHEAD wins their next game, we will go on to BEAT Chudley. You can trash talk our new seeker for being a rookie all you want, but her performance stats speak for themselves. In our match against Appleby--her first Pro match by the way--she caught the snitch within fifteen minutes, and we were already up by 70 thanks to our very speedy Chasers.
Katie Boraz: You know how we get that money, PIDAK? Championship trophies. Although who knows, your trophies are such antiques, they might have appreciated in value.
PIDAK: Kate: Your seeker caught the snitch on a fluke! We all saw the footage on QESPN, the lightning hit the snitch and it fell on her lap! Such a travesty! Your chasers are the only bright spots on your team, other than that, your entire team could play in the Retired Quidditch League! Katie: Our last championship was won in 1892, but you forget to mention that we swept the decades from 1870-1880!! Respect tradition! Respect Chudley!
Me: Two words: Gwenog Jones. She's a legend. I refuse to dignify the rest of what you said with a response. (But if I were to dignify it, I would point out that everyone knows that the higher ups at QESPN are totally biased Appleby fans and it's widely speculated that they rigged the replay footage to make it look like a lucky accident when in fact it was pure talent.)
PIDAK: Gwenog Jones? Are you kidding me? She's just as pretentious as the rest of the your team? Of course, she was a member of the Slug Club... If you want to watch a real seeker, take a look at Galvin Gudgeon of the Cannons! Ugh, everyone is talking about Appleby lately... They are such a bandwagon team this year.
PIDAK 2: Galvin Gudgeon is the Snape to Gwendolyn Morgan's Dumbledore. Morgan gets all the hype, but it's Gudgeon who's gonna be laughing in the end...
Me: PIDAK-- Well at least we agree that Appleby is just the flavour of the week. PIDAK 2-- Please, Morgan could outfly Gudgeon on her Cleansweep 1953. All you two are doing is reminding me of the superior lineup the Harpies have always had.
source.
So what team do you support?
*Post title is the Chudley Cannons official team motto since 1972.
8 comments:
Kate, I am so glad for this. Now that I know you are a Harpies supporter, we can be bffs and discuss the matches and who's going to make the team.
Also, I'm offended by that remark about Oliver Wood. He's as good as ever! True, he has been playing since Harry was fourteen and his reflexes are slower, which could potentially spell disaster for a Keeper, but he would still wipe the pitch with many of the current popular Keepers.
And kudos to PIDAK... I didn't think anyone actually admitted if they were Canons' fans anymore.
Aww, all the Chudley Cannons hate. I quite like them. But I will agree that the Holyhead Harpies are amazing. And on a side note...watching Sean Biggerstaff as Oliver Wood the other day made me feel old. I had such a major crush on him. And it makes me sad that Oliver Wood is getting past his prime. Sad day. Keep me updated on your bracket. I'm sad I missed out on this one.
This was possibly the greatest thing I have read in a long while. I loved it! I think you should become a QESPN sports writer. :)
Kate, you just became my new straight girl crush!! Quidditch owns all sports.
I am with you, harpies for the win!!!
.... This is actually amazing.
I LOVED THIS!!!!! hahahha
I have to get updated with this year's Quidditch league... :)
ps. I am also NERDLY PROUD of being a HP fan!!!!!
Ohmygawd!!! There is nothing not to love about this post!!!
Yes, please. Harry Potter forever.
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