“How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes,
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
and now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know,
my weakness I feel I must finally show.”
Two of my greatest passions are writing and music.
Not writing as in “I’m going to pen the next great American novel”; no, more like writing as self-therapy. I write on a blog when I want to share my thoughts with family and friends (and awesome strangers). I write in my journal when I want to capture memories, moments, or figure things out for myself. I write in circles when I’m frustrated.
But when writing fails me, when I just can’t figure out how I feel or what I want to say, music takes over. I listen to music for hours every day. I mean that. It’s on in the car (well, I haven’t driven in 8 months, but normally…), it’s on when I’m on my computer, cleaning, cooking, falling asleep, and generally in the moments when I breath. Music heightens experiences for me—it seems to know my emotions better than I sometimes, and express them in the best possible way. Joy, depression, love, exhilaration, melancholy, and the list goes on…
Lately I’ve had a lot on my mind and I can’t get seem to express it for myself or anyone else. I have tried to blog (not posted). I’ve journaled and ended up frustrated. Writing just isn’t working right now.
Luckily, that’s where music comes in. An incredible thing about music is its transient quality; the way you can listen to a favorite song a million times and something new will strike you each time. Or how you will listen to a random song a million times and hear nothing new and then suddenly there it is, and it sounds different and means something different than ever before.
Today, a particular Mumford & Sons song made me stop in my tracks as I descended the huge hill in town to my piso. It is one of the first M&S songs I ever heard, a long time favorite. Since the first moment I heard it I have had a strong strong reaction to it. It has moved me to tears, made me bust out some quality interpretive-dance moves in my sala, lulled me to sleep, and made me think and feel myriad things.
…Your soul you must keep totally free.
And yet today it was like a brand new song. It had yet another meaning and level to offer. It spoke of my feelings in a way I couldn’t and suddenly I didn’t need to write them down, all I had to do was listen and soak it in. Writing is emotional for me, but music may very well be spiritual.
I love writing. I love music. Free therapy.
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
and now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know,
my weakness I feel I must finally show.”
Two of my greatest passions are writing and music.
Not writing as in “I’m going to pen the next great American novel”; no, more like writing as self-therapy. I write on a blog when I want to share my thoughts with family and friends (and awesome strangers). I write in my journal when I want to capture memories, moments, or figure things out for myself. I write in circles when I’m frustrated.
But when writing fails me, when I just can’t figure out how I feel or what I want to say, music takes over. I listen to music for hours every day. I mean that. It’s on in the car (well, I haven’t driven in 8 months, but normally…), it’s on when I’m on my computer, cleaning, cooking, falling asleep, and generally in the moments when I breath. Music heightens experiences for me—it seems to know my emotions better than I sometimes, and express them in the best possible way. Joy, depression, love, exhilaration, melancholy, and the list goes on…
Lately I’ve had a lot on my mind and I can’t get seem to express it for myself or anyone else. I have tried to blog (not posted). I’ve journaled and ended up frustrated. Writing just isn’t working right now.
Luckily, that’s where music comes in. An incredible thing about music is its transient quality; the way you can listen to a favorite song a million times and something new will strike you each time. Or how you will listen to a random song a million times and hear nothing new and then suddenly there it is, and it sounds different and means something different than ever before.
Today, a particular Mumford & Sons song made me stop in my tracks as I descended the huge hill in town to my piso. It is one of the first M&S songs I ever heard, a long time favorite. Since the first moment I heard it I have had a strong strong reaction to it. It has moved me to tears, made me bust out some quality interpretive-dance moves in my sala, lulled me to sleep, and made me think and feel myriad things.
…Your soul you must keep totally free.
And yet today it was like a brand new song. It had yet another meaning and level to offer. It spoke of my feelings in a way I couldn’t and suddenly I didn’t need to write them down, all I had to do was listen and soak it in. Writing is emotional for me, but music may very well be spiritual.
I love writing. I love music. Free therapy.
6 comments:
Your writing is absolutely beautiful and inspiring :) And I agree, music can be spiritual.
I feel the exact same way about music. But I could never express that as well as you did here! I have music on constantly - from the moment I wake up till the moment I go back to sleep. I can't imagine life without it. I am glad there are people in the world who dedicate their life to writing and making music.
I love that whole album but that song is one of my favorites. And I love when music can mean something different at different points in your life. I couldn't live without music! I think it's one of God's greatest gifts to us!
I LOVE that song and I love even more that it spoke for you. I love writing so much. But music? Music has always cure my soul...always.
You're amazing! Thinking of you.
This post is so true. And Mumford & Sons sometimes change my life - I think it's this song I think, every time I hear it, "This is the best lyrics I have ever heard!" Every time it surprises me. Amazing.
O but I had the gift of expressing my emotions 1/3 of the way you do....I would be better understood by those I love. proud of you Dear.
Love,
D
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