Through Back Surgery and Beyond!

Tomorrow will be one week since my surgery! I have to head over to the doctor's office for a check-up and to have my staples out. Yes, there are actual staples in my back. We'll come back to that.

I decided since I have nothing more interesting to talk about lately--Um, seriously, I've spent week in my house watching TV, sleeping and occasionally hobbling down the hall--I'd share some about the surgery and this week of recovery. :)

I had a pre-op appointment last Thursday and they did 2 things. One: Severely freaked me out. Two: They gave me this "helpful" booklet.

My favorite part is the collage of the happily recovered patients. When I saw it I laughed because it highlights just how tragic pathetic unusual it is that I am twenty and have had severe back pain and a herniated disc since I was seventeen and therefore needed this surgery...a surgery that clearly is more often needed by the elderly. I scoff at your picture strip of old people, surgery manual.

Next up, I thought I'd share a picture with ya'll from said manual. In case anyone was wondering, this is a bit what the inside of my back looked like. See the bulging part? Basically all the good normal stuff from inside my disc went bad and leaked out and has been pressing against my nerves for three years causing my right leg to be almost constantly pin-prickly/numb and my back to be in lots o' pain. Also, turns out I won the lotto and had bone spurs and now arthritis in the effected part of my back as well.

I have no pictures of me at the hospital. No way would I let those exist. I was quite a mess. I wore a sexy lunch lady hair net into the operating room and since I couldn't really move to keep decorum I turned into the stereotypical hospital patient with the open-backed gown. I am so embarassed at how many people have now seen my patootie.

Moving right along...

At home, I have to wear these fantastic old-lady white stockings for the next two weeks to make sure I don't get blood clots and such. I've been wearing loose fitting dresses non-stop since the incision is at the very lowest part of my spine and a waist band would pretty much kill. So here's a sampling of how fab I've been looking:

*cringes*

At the hospital they gave me this...you know, I really have no idea what it's supposed to be called but I can tell you it's supposed to help me put on socks and shoes and stuff...? Maybe? I just call it my old lady cane and I use it to pull things closer to me or flush the toilet.

Picture I'm sparring you from: The creepy incision in my back with a bunch of staples in it! My mom took a picture and showed me when she changed my bandages and I felt like Frankenstein. Ick.

I can't tell you how elderly I feel this week. I move at the rate of about .000001 mph. I sleep all the time. I have to have help showering. My mom made me take a walk outside and she was generous enough to pretend it was I helping her along and that's why we were going slower than the 3 year old on a tric next to us instead of the other way around.

Everyone do me a favor and savor every moment you can twist, bend, or move at a normal pace these days. You never realize how great mobility is till it's (temporarily) gone.