When I was unhappy in Spain, I resorted to lists. I am a lister. I needed to give myself goals and hopes and things to check off just to get through this thing.
To be honest, my first list wasn’t created out of a desire to pull myself up and get on with life, but was born of complete depression and a need to mark time to be sure it was moving towards that date when I could go home. It was a list of the dates of every weekend from that day in September through May 31st (my last day of work).
I cried hard looking at how many weekends I had ahead of me to cross off. Weekends were the worst at the beginning because I stubbornly refused to consider traveling alone, I had no friends to go out with, my roommate goes home every weekend, so weekends meant me alone in my piso with nothing but the tv.
By the end of October I was still miserable and marking off weekends as a survival tactic, but as I ran the ink line over the dates I was also beginning to have this tentative dream of finding myself approaching those last dates with sadness instead of excitement. I allowed myself to hope that I’d check off the last date and be nostalgic for all the weekends that had come before and what they had held. At the time, I anticipated the last weekend as my salvation point, but I secretly hoped I wouldn’t feel this way the whole time.
I’m sure you know where this is going. Especially if you’ve been reading my blog.
I slowly but significantly became happier, bit by bit, but always in an upwards climb towards “wonderful”. I kept checking off dates simply because I really love lists and crossing/checking things off. I meant it when I said I’m a lister. (I’ve even blogged about this before.) And now, that little dream of mine has come true, absolutely. I look back at every weekend since December with a fond memory to sustain me and a happy overall impression of my time here in Spain.
The other list I created to get-by was a silly little “Spain Bucket List.”
The funny thing about this list was that I threw things on it sort of at random—a few had reason behind them, a few were just things I knew I could accomplish (small goals are often the best ones), and a few were randomly selected pipe dreams.
And what’s so exciting is that as of last weekend I have checked every one of those items off the list…the ones I never really even imagined getting to and the easy ones.
Spain Bucket List
-Edinburgh
-NaNoWriMo
-Read 20 books (this was a “freebie” goal…I easily read 30-40)
-The North (as in visit)
-Participate in activities in Puente Genil
-Christmas with Spaniards
-Meet Irene
-Find Churros and Hot Chocolate
-Buy boots
-Send postcards to everyone on the address list (I sent over 80 cards!!!)
-Go to the beach
-Granada with Liz
-Portugal
-Mallorca
-Hike/walk outer limits/campo
Note on Postcards: I recently found out that some people never received their postcard from me. This makes me very sad because I was quite proud of the fact that I purchased, wrote and sent postcards to absolutely everybody who gave me their address and asked for one--and guys, there were over 80 people on my final address list. If you are fairly sure you gave me your address and you did not receive a postcard, I am very sorry; I can promise you I did send you one. I guess that's just how it goes with international mail sometimes. My apologies.
To be honest, my first list wasn’t created out of a desire to pull myself up and get on with life, but was born of complete depression and a need to mark time to be sure it was moving towards that date when I could go home. It was a list of the dates of every weekend from that day in September through May 31st (my last day of work).
I cried hard looking at how many weekends I had ahead of me to cross off. Weekends were the worst at the beginning because I stubbornly refused to consider traveling alone, I had no friends to go out with, my roommate goes home every weekend, so weekends meant me alone in my piso with nothing but the tv.
By the end of October I was still miserable and marking off weekends as a survival tactic, but as I ran the ink line over the dates I was also beginning to have this tentative dream of finding myself approaching those last dates with sadness instead of excitement. I allowed myself to hope that I’d check off the last date and be nostalgic for all the weekends that had come before and what they had held. At the time, I anticipated the last weekend as my salvation point, but I secretly hoped I wouldn’t feel this way the whole time.
I’m sure you know where this is going. Especially if you’ve been reading my blog.
I slowly but significantly became happier, bit by bit, but always in an upwards climb towards “wonderful”. I kept checking off dates simply because I really love lists and crossing/checking things off. I meant it when I said I’m a lister. (I’ve even blogged about this before.) And now, that little dream of mine has come true, absolutely. I look back at every weekend since December with a fond memory to sustain me and a happy overall impression of my time here in Spain.
The other list I created to get-by was a silly little “Spain Bucket List.”
The funny thing about this list was that I threw things on it sort of at random—a few had reason behind them, a few were just things I knew I could accomplish (small goals are often the best ones), and a few were randomly selected pipe dreams.
And what’s so exciting is that as of last weekend I have checked every one of those items off the list…the ones I never really even imagined getting to and the easy ones.
Spain Bucket List
-Edinburgh
-NaNoWriMo
-Read 20 books (this was a “freebie” goal…I easily read 30-40)
-The North (as in visit)
-Participate in activities in Puente Genil
-Christmas with Spaniards
-Meet Irene
-Find Churros and Hot Chocolate
-Buy boots
-Send postcards to everyone on the address list (I sent over 80 cards!!!)
-Go to the beach
-Granada with Liz
-Portugal
-Mallorca
-Hike/walk outer limits/campo
Note on Postcards: I recently found out that some people never received their postcard from me. This makes me very sad because I was quite proud of the fact that I purchased, wrote and sent postcards to absolutely everybody who gave me their address and asked for one--and guys, there were over 80 people on my final address list. If you are fairly sure you gave me your address and you did not receive a postcard, I am very sorry; I can promise you I did send you one. I guess that's just how it goes with international mail sometimes. My apologies.
5 comments:
I'm really happy to be part of that list!!!!! I hope the overall experience wasn't as bas as at the beginning, I understand because I felt the very same last year... counting down the days and then feeling melancholic!
=)
So happy to hear that your experience here in Spain got better every passing day.
It's so sad when postcards get lost, because people then think that you haven't sent them a postcard... That happened to me when I was traveling around USA a few summers ago. I totally get your point Kate.
Hope you have a really well flight home. And enjoy the few last days here in Sapin.
Spain easily loses half of the mail I send back, or sometimes it just takes months, so maybe they'll still arrive. fingers crosses!! I love making lists too, sometimes I'll even write things like "shower" or "do laundry" so I can cross off more stuff hehe :)
Remember the post cards you and Jen received from me about 4 months after I had long returned from Switzerland?!?
I JUST listened to "Listomania" Love!
I also love lists. I make them for everything!
I'm glad things got better in Spain and you were able to experience so many awesome things! Also, thank you for my post card, again. It really made my day when it came! 8)
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